Christmas has passed, new year is two more days, season is soon to end. The best/worst part? EVERYTHING.
I am not yet ready to write/think/say details of the season. All I know is that I haven’t written anything yet for my resolution next year. Simple reason: I am not yet ready to leave 2008.
I will have eight parts of 2008.
kuya edmund, please send an email. please. please. please.
sigh. blank. macky says its two o’clock. yet my whole system says 2pm.
Nowadays, whenever I hear his name, I no longer feel anything. The used to be thorn i guess finally lost its prickly effect directed to my heart. The vexed expression I used to feel everytime the topic is him has also gone down somewhere.
I can not think of any more right or better cliche than time heals all wounds. I have been wounded, several times, by different persons at certain degree, to the extent of losing a dear friend who is someone so damn close to my heart. The time has come. All my wounds were healed. From the love of my life to my almost lover, and all the guys in between. But the wounded heart will always be wounded, no matter how long it will take to be healed. The heart says everything is in order now that the wound was healed, but how about the mind that worked hand in hand with the heart the time it was broken or in the process of healing? Can it be easily swayed by the heart? Will the wounds be forgotten by the mind? Geezz, don’t mind then.
My wounded-healed-foreverwounded-healed heart still longs for someone. I do not give up the notion of me singing this is it… Yes, wounded, never learned my lessons despite the countless heartbreaks. As they say, this world is a life long lessons. Lessons to be learned will not stop, it’s like asking for cars not to pass edsa. Why i suddenly came up with this notion? of the wounded-healed-wounded thing? yeah yeah i saw his blog earlier and it took me again by surprise (back to him again). I thought… I thought…. Nothing!!! Somehow seeing him hurt and happy puts my hopes high, that moment will also come to me, to be happy and contented.
I don’t think it is wise for me to say matters of the heart since I am contributing to a high percentage of unemployed Filipinos, for almost two months now. Is it really my fault? Yeah maybe, I am to blame. I admit I wasn’t that strong and stable when reality shook me. And I am done and tired making any more excuses and/or explanations. Thousands of ideas are crossing my mind. They are now again juggling, wanting for my brain to ask the nerves to deliver to my hands the message that they also wanted to be put here. But I can’t. I am sorry. One at a time. My blogging puts my heart at rest.
As of today, MAY 1, 30 days before my 24th birthday, I realized (and still realizing) these things:
1. I am over him, I will never deny that I wished he is mine.
2. I am thankful that God has shown His way of telling me that he really isn’t the one for me. I am sticking to that thought.
3. I am sometimes too engrossed with other people that I am losing my sanity (haha)
4. Blogging after all can be my life.
5. Alcoholic drink is not a potable water.
6. I really am looking forward spending time with circle people in a beach
7. Zambales is zambales. No longer that appealing (i am sorry bonds)
8. I can afford not to come with bonds in Zambales.
9. Baliwag! Baliwag!
10. Agriculture is still my industry, my preferred industry.
TEN THINGS AS OF MAY 1, 2008. I am wide awake, time check macky? 2:30 AM. sighs in my pilllow
Saw SHUTTER earlier with jha, mae and jose at Eastwood. Not bad. Nice to see Eastwood Cinemas again. And here I am again, in Los Baños. Feels like four years ago.
The past two weeks being an official Silang Bummer, was able to read around 15 novels (Thanks to Maan’s Ebooks) .
I want to work again, I want to work abroad. I want to i want to i want to… I need money, own money, milions, hey hey hey its not bad to want something. Just like Mav said, i should write what i honestly want and goals in my life. I am looking for a book that will serve as my journal, a book of questions maybe.
ooohhhhhhhhhh………. i am not being sensible here. shucks.
shame on me
There is this young lady. Right after she obtained her college degree, she was able to got herself a job, then resigned because of the better opportunity for her career. Then went to look for another job again. For more than a year, she stayed in that company but didnt renew her contract to look for another thing. So you can see, its a cycle, a vicious one. Two months has passed yet she is still looking for something in her latest work, wondering if the work perse or some other mind-juggling stuff. Whatever it is, she is now troubled. She wants to quit, although she wears that attitude of not a quitter.
She’s troubled and she’s a quitter. How mean the world could be to her? You know why she is troubled? Because she cannot think of a better way to say “i quit“.
They say, nothing can beat the simple and direct manner of conveying things. She could put this on her boss’ table:
She is a little blunt there and quite a loser. Maybe, maybe this one:
Words OVER ACTING are perfect. Now, she really is troubled. She badly wants to quit. Who would not be nervous of their first times?
First times always leave a mark.
Honestly, there is no better way of sending your resignation but to say I QUIT. Difficulty is doing it.
When you have this urge to leave,to go out and look for other matters, no one can stop you. only yourself.
what i want for this week
-an easier, non-exhausting workload
-a positive response for my dad’s chemo
-a happy mind
-a happy week 
have a happy week everyone.
mwah mwah
Okai. So here it goes. i need and have to write
I made promises, several of them, which were all broken. yeah yeah we all know that, but then i do have my own reasons. I wont stop. I’ll write everything that crosses my mind, my mind wanting to explode. From Cavite to Manila. Wherever I go, mindful things never failed to leave me, even for a minute. Start. ok, so i did start seconds ago. Write.
work.
My day wasn’t good, scolded by my boss because of that livelihoods. More of my fault, he’s the boss nga eh! kulit kulit kasi noh. Still, thankful to my workload cause it gives my day a different path, a lot better than the path i choose every night (i am being consistent here, what path? emotions that can cause a breakdown, of course, i wont be having a nervous one) anyway, LEAP YEAR. for all those who know me, there will be a fourth year celebration…. enough. february seems the best and worst month for me.
family.
cant say how good but then worst—FAMILY. i really wont stop, i wont let anyone stop me. my father has a cancer. yes, hate to think but it’s the one really bothering me and the rest of my family, who wouldn’t be bothered? sigh…. (little stop). and now, issues started between siblings, perfect moment to wish that we were all young again. stay young and have little fight, fights when you get older feel bad.
chorvas.
the past two trainings we had were both successful. met and entertained exclusively for a week, take note, one each training. un un eh! mr raveesha and mr nik. NIK is very different, aside from being a muslim, super demanding! he brought me to baywalk! my first time there honestly. here’s me and my nik:
really my nik huh? no he isn’t mine, he’s married. like what i told him, we we’ll never see each other again but i am very happy that once in my life i met a wonderful person.
friends.
i know i have lots of friends. right now, i want jefferson to remember me. a simple message of how am i doing will be highly appreciated, yet i heard nothing. hmph. least person i expected to respond to my not-so-good-night-everynight was yets. magparamdam ka parejoy! wanna see a movie with mav. she’s quite busy also. it’s getting late. have to stop, but i cant.
other matters.
my yahoo mail account has 984 unread message. that is how busy i am. not to mention my other yahoo mail account (the formal) and my mac account. another thing. mac. haven’t fully utilized yet. i need a break to do all things i need to do for myself.
i am so tired. physically and emotionally.
i am wondering who can help me???
OR
what can i do?
now im jaded….
lunchbreak. so its legal. hehe
im in the office right now. MONDAY! i told myself to set aside for a week my real workload, ill try to finish first my extra load, which is this publication thing. its not really part of my job, since ive been absorbed by the Manila Office i better help them. it took me the whole morning to finish my admin matters… which i am not supposed to allot that much time. i have no choice! and my co researcher is asking me to do a little favor its little yeah, BUT time consuming. to think im the one doing our project’s admin matters!
garung is getting married!!!! she’s one of my childhood friends. we are devils and we’re friends. together with carol and arvin, we have this special bonding, we are different among other neighbors in silang cavite. but now she’s getting married! my god… i cant believe it. she just sent me a message this morning, thank god i was able to talk to her on the phone. i didnt know they’re back together and now…. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. she’s old enough to know certain things. it was a shocking news for carol and i. we’re next to her family (as we both assume sniff sniff)
so i spent another unproductive weekend. drunk again last saturday with joan then playstation and good sheperd yesterday.
